Life is unpredictable.
One day you think you’re set, happy, and ready for the next step (e.g. engagement) with your significant other…
The next day, the aforementioned significant other doesn’t see you as significant in his life and tells you he doesn’t know what he wants. He says he doesn’t want to get married simply because it was the “next step” or that it is expected of him. Basically, he admitted that he did not (and was not) ready to grow up because marriage, in his mind, meant growing up. He was not ready to commit and would not be ready in a few years. I am not ready to wait a few more years for him to decide that I was not the one for him…because you would think men would know after seven+ years of dating.
As much as I wanted to cling on, to plead him to reconsider his decision, I know there is nothing I can do except to learn from this experience and move on.
Here are a few things I learned about money, power, gender roles, and relationships through (and during) this ordeal:
Don’t be his Mother
As much as I like to think all men are children who need to be taken care of (sorry guys), one of the biggest mistakes I made was acting like his mother. I was essentially the CEO of the home (or trying to be anyway) by organizing the finances, dealing with the tenants, buying groceries, ensuring dinner was ready, cleaning, and doing small repairs around the home. Basically I guess I gave off the vibe that he wasn’t needed (which is true, but I guess guys don’t like feeling that way, obviously!). Continue Reading →