Fabulously Broke (a fantastic no-nonsense female blogger) approached me to see if I was interested in participating in a one time carnival about our experiences in our industry, noting whether it was female or male dominated, and sharing an experience where I felt that there was male/female disparity. She wanted me to share a bit about my background and my industry. So here goes!
late 20′s
INDUSTRY:
public sector
Although I can’t think of a personal male-female situation in my industry that comes to mind, I can think of my experience and observations in my industry as a whole. I work in a primarily female dominated industry sector and even though it is not a male-dominated industry, I feel as though males tend to “climb the ladder” more quickly and more effectively. They are also more respected without having to “earn the respect” so to say. More male employees are in middle management or management, even if they actually have fewer years of experience than other female employees. Having said that, I thoroughly enjoy working with the males in my industry. Men, compared to women, are just not as nit-picky and are more drama-free (sorry, girls!)… period. Actually, come to think of it, there is one situation that comes to mind, but it doesn’t affect me directly and I have not asked my colleague what she thought of the situation. I’ll share with you anyway. My two colleagues, both middle-management and in equal “levels” when it comes to rank were at a meeting with us lowly non-middle-management peons. When discussing what needed to be done in order to take action on a new project, the male middle-management employee asked the female middle-management employee to do something task oriented and mindless (like making a list to put up in the office) but this menial task actually fell under the responsibility of the male middle-management employee. She smiled graciously (but possibly in a way that said “who do you think I am? Your maid?? Do it yourself!”) and said she would make that list.
I pride myself on being quite observant on facial gestures and non-verbal communication, and my female colleague seemed to not be too happy that my male colleague asked her to do something like that. This is not only the first time that he has asked her to do menial things in a meeting. I think it has happened about two to three times consecutively. Again, I haven’t asked her what she thought because I don’t want to start office gossip or anything, so I kept my observations to myself.
I don’t know if my male colleague realizes that he’s acting that way. Is my male colleague implying that his time is more important than my female colleagues? They are both equally busy at work. Maybe I am being overly feminist and overly sensitive about this, but sometimes it seems that male colleagues are better at delegating tasks to females. Maybe it’s not delegating and maybe he’s inspiring team work and collaboration between the employees. Maybe it’s the difference in how women and men interpret things and finish projects at work.
This male middle management colleague of mine is a hard worker, great to work with and drama-free, but sounds very “traditional-circa-1950′s-male-and-female-role-playing” in his home life. But I might be making assumptions.
I’m interested to know what you think? Is this a subtle example of male-domination in a female-dominated industry?
If you were the female middle-management employee, what would you do?
Would you delegate things to him at meetings? Speak to him privately about it? Stay “mum” about the whole subject and let things slide?
Here’s what other female bloggers participating in the carnival have to say:
“If I were a Boy” Carnival
This post is part of a series of bloggers sharing their candid experiences or observations about women in the workplace which is not at all meant to be a male-bashing expedition whatsoever.
Please head over to these other wonderful bloggers and read about their experiences.
- Jacq of Single Mom Rich Mom — Accounting, 40s
- Fabulously Broke in the City — Consulting, 20s
- Stacking Pennies — Engineering, 20s
- Musings of an Abstract Aucklander — Publishing, 20s
- Little Miss Moneybags — Publishing — 20s
- Dog Ate my Finances
- Young and Thrifty — Public Sector, 20s
- Paranoid Asteroid
- Insomniac Lab Rat — Science, 20s
Yup, that’s sexist. He’d be sticking that list somewhere the sun don’t shine if it was on my watch. Actually, I’d just mock him to a point that he’d never dare delegate to me again.
@Jacq- lol- “sticking the list somewhere where the sun don’t shine”. That’s a good one.
If I were the female middle management person, I’d ask the male middle management person to do a task for me and see what response I get. I’d reflect on that and then consider my possible responses; is this an equitable relationship where we help each out with each other tasks or is he domineering? If equitable, then carry on. If not, then time to have a chat.
@Bob- that is a very diplomatic and pragmatic response, Bob
Good way to “test the waters”. I’ll try and suggest that to her the next time he seems to delegate.
I would have started suggesting things for him to do. Mundane, secretary things, and started to speak up more and take control.
The only way to gain power and respect without just letting the guy have it because you’re easy going, is to bare your teeth, but not to bite or growl.
Treat him like an equal rather than deferring to him, and things get better.
@FB- That sounds like it would work with any male-female scenario (including a relationship etc. lol). The female middle management employee IS very easy going and isn’t assertive or bossy.
I don’t have enough details to form a conclusion unfortunately as what happens outside the meeting room can have an impact in the meeting room.
In my industry, 90% of the employees are male due to the math and computer background (not that females aren’t good at it – it’s just the nature of the proportion). What I can say, is that the menial list making is done by anyone on the team when in a meeting. In fact, it’s usually more senior employees that do it to ensure it’s done right. That list in a new project would have been owned by a senior employee and not a junior person regardless of the sex to ensure success.
@The Passive Income Earner- Hey, you got a new “gravatar”. Nice
I like your perspective too, that team members chip in to do menial tasks just because it needs to be done. Though I think he could have been like “okay who wants to form a list?” instead of “Sandra (name changed), can you make that list by Monday?”
I’d probably just say something like, “actually, it seems like this is your responsibility, could you please complete the list”.
Keeping it bottled up could actually lead to more problems down the line. Better to deal with it directly.
It is interesting to compare everyone’s experiences regarding gender in the workplace. In other blogs, these discussions seem to frequently turn into a place to bash other people’s opinions. Everyone has unique experiences so it is interesting to hear their point of view.
@Virginia- Thanks for sharing your opinion, I agree that keeping things bottled up could lead to more problems. I guess in the end, it really is all about teamwork and getting things done. We all need to put aside our egos to get things done in the end. I guess he could have worded it another way instead of assigning it to her directly at the meeting….
don’t wait. it’s not an eye for an eye. be pre- emptive and give him a task today. you don’t want him to associate the two tasks.
Very cool Carnival!
I noticed alot of female sports coaches are men. Many women have told me they would rather be coached by a man for some reason.
Positives and minuses for everything.
@Financial Samurai- Glad you like it Sam. I have noticed many female sport coaches are men too. Perhaps there might be drama from a female sport female coach….?
Why do you think there is so much more “drama” with women? I’m frankly more scared of female authority figures than male.
@Financial Samurai- I’m not sure.. In my perspective, I think it’s because some women have insecurity issues and make themselves feel better by bullying in subtle ways, by talking behind the person’s back, and by doing other vindictive things. Men are more honest/blunt than women and sometimes you don’t know what a woman authority figure is thinking.
Not necessarily sexist; maybe he’d still be doing that if she was a guy?
In any case, I think those two need to have a heart to heart talk in private.
@Invest It Wisely- you think so? I can’t seem to imagine him telling another guy to do a menial task like that.. especially one on the “same level” as he is.
An ex-coworker at my company used to frequently push his “menial tasks” onto other members of the team (both Men and Women.) When he asked me for one of his ‘favors’ I just said “I’m actually quite busy with this task I’m currently doing. Maybe another time.” He stopped bugging me after receiving a couple of replies like that. Eventually upper management noticed his questionable delegations and he was laid off. Perhaps he forgot about the golden rule from kindergarten: ‘Treat other people the way you would like to be treated.’
L.I.
I’m wondering why the female middle-manager is doing what the male middle-manager is asking of her if she seems so obviously annoyed. She could turn the tables by anticipating what menial tasks are needed at the next meeting and ask him to do them. I’m wondering if it’s not so much a female/male inequality issue, but more of a problem of her not being able to say “no” to his requests. I work in a primarily female-dominated industry and don’t ever really encounter male/female power struggles so I’m sort of out of the loop!
@Little House- Well, she DIDN’T seem obviously annoyed, she just smiled and sort of made eye contact with some other females in the room, which I interpreted as disapproval for the tasks she was assigned.
That’s true- they are the only middle managers there, (one female and one male) so it might be the same if there were two females. Maybe I am just being hypersensitive to sexism! 