I’m not sure what it is, maybe it’s the fact that my relationship dissolved and major things happened that I didn’t ever foresee happening (e.g. house selling, long term relationship going kaputz)… or maybe (and more likely) it is because I am hitting the big 3-0 this year. Or it is because I am ridiculously busy with work, school, trying to find a love life.
I feel like I am reading the Eat Pray Love of my own life at times. I realized that I need to just chill out and perhaps take some time on my own to reflect on where I am, what I want to do, and think about what I want out of life.
I thought I knew what I wanted, but when that all fell apart, I don’t really know what I want anymore. Hopefully I will find it. Sometimes we may think we know what we want, like that house with the white picket fence, marriage, a big $25,000 wedding, children, and then it hits you and you wonder…maybe you don’t? These big life decisions are, frankly, kind of scary and I think seeing all my friends get married, trying (or having) children, really makes me think about where I am at in my life. Obviously its not good to compare and longing for something is the root of all suffering, but it’s easier said than done I guess.
In the impulsive fashion characteristic of me (I can be impulsive and I can be completely anal-retentive and super organized) I am thinking about booking an overseas trip for a meditation retreat. Hopefully I will be able to find myself, figure out what I want, have some time in solitude to reflect, and most importantly, learn to not suffer by learning that everything in life is impermanent and the only thing we have control over is our thoughts and our mind. It is something I have always wanted to do and I have some friends who went previously (in a different continent though) who found the experience to be life changing.
Then when I come back, I’m going to buy myself a Porshe Caymen S.
Readers (young and old!) have you experienced your quarter or mid-life crisis? How did you work through it?
PF Blog Love!
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Little House @ Little House in the Valley writes Bad Choices Can Be Deadly – Thankfully, many of my poor choices occurred when I was young and I had time to repair them. That’s not the case for an old friend. He knowingly made one terrible choice many years ago and has been paying for it ever since.
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